Thursday, July 20, 2017

The Broken Arms

She said she's getting used of people come and go, of people leaving, of what came through then faded. Getting used to it till it hurts no more, till she cant break another part. But deep down, it still aches, however.

She had enough of feeling sorry for herself, she had enough apologizing whether she's hard to love, she cant help to do anything as well.

Then here she was, standing to emptiness of the mind full of thought whether she could bear, that maybe, its not her who's hard to love, that maybe just maybe; she just haven't been loved by the right person. Just yet, oh m'dear.

Bear it a little more, she beg for the sake of her sanity.
I begged her.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

(The Thoughts of) Moving Out. (ii)

I felt like I have to continue working on this post because somehow I managed to put a "(i)" in the end of the title of this post -> Moving Out. (i), which means its a continuous post, lel. (Don't know whether this post will be the last series or not, haha).

I knew it from the start, when I began to write on the previous post, it would only tell about my insecurities and anxiety of moving out because somehow it was only a thought since I hadn't really doing it (I mean like steps of moving out incl packing ma stuff), but once you're start doing and moving your asses off, the worries started to come off little by little.

After planing my to do list, I began to had it one by one. I searched for available rooms and checked, met the landlord and discuss about the bill and payment. Some of it didn't really fulfill my requirement, but after days of uncertainty I finally met one which humane enough to me. Then I reported my thoughts and plans to my parents and they were okay as well. And I get back meeting the Ibu Kos and made my first deal payment, then I started to pack my things one by one. It was indeed confusing, realizing I got so many stuff to pack and how to sort these stuffs according to their use, but it all packed anyway, lel.

It was a little bit hectic and I got my other worry of when I will be moving out. Since my last ibu kos was not really kicking me out and okay for me to stay until July, but I know that I will be overwhelmed because my studio phase started at the beginning of July. So I decided to make my moving schedule in between my Eid Mubarak days (re; my short holiday). I went to Semarang for two or three days celebrating Eid, then I head back to Oslo. Too bad it was already late because there were traffic jam erry where as people were mobilized from city to city due to visiting relatives or just getting back to the city. And because of that I decided to move out the next day.

It was indeed tiring, sweating, hectic and a bit frustrating hiks. I feel bad for yelling at my father but on one side I felt a bit irritated of some certain thing, but I hope we all good now. Sometimes I felt irritated but I know that I should be grateful that at least my father's here and he's trying he's best to help me with all that he got (insya Allah). Tried putting most of my positive minds here, hiks. Yaudala. We rented a pick up after some unnecessary tense discussion, and moved my stuffs out from my last dorm room to the neu one.

Done loading the stuffs, delivering it to the neu haus, and loading back to the neu room (which located in level 3, lol), I had myself grabbed my clothes before (they were unpacked from last trip from Semarang, lel), and headed again to Sragen to my other granny's haus. Alhamdulillah the moving out didn't really consume much time and energy since we rented a pick up (which my father objected at the first time, do oh.) That because of it, we could still head back home at noon since I intended to move out from the morning (which again my father didn't really agree at first, do oh part II). 

I stayed in my granny haus for about another three or four days then on the Sunday evening I headed back to Oslo city to prepare for the next day; my studio day one. And here I am, telling you this from my neu dorm room which again I have to adapt of how not to be scared (I know I'm such a scaredy-cat). 

Honestly I got pictures of my old room with none of my stuffs, but I don't think the pictures resemble with the blog concept enough, but I think I will edit it and add it later on this post. For now only this haha,

I just wanted to say, that finally its not really bad that you moved out and did all those tiring-moving work, at least you checked off another worries from your list. I still have to do some cleaning up, but I'll try my best doing it. Wish me luck for everything! hehe. Sayonare!

From The Dining Table

I've met somebody I thought "the one" and ended up it was just nothing.
I've came to a feeling, when I was already being too comfortable 
over somebody's companion; that his presence didn't hurt,
and ended up hurting myself over silence.
I've came to realize, that no matter how bad and hurt I was, 
it would be over once its done.

we haven't spoke since you went away
comfortable silence is so overrated
why wont you ever say what you want to say

Friday, June 30, 2017

Journey on Getting 2/3 Engineering Degree

That as you can see, after getting back from Tangerang I pushed myself enough and dedicated most of my time doing the best I could working on my research, since its due on June 12 if I wanted to do my research result seminar this June (and if I'm not I would have to wait for the next 2 month and I don't wanna postpone no more because I still had to do and pass Final Studio before I did my final seminar). So, this part, my doing research part is still a 2/3 part on getting my engineering degree. 

Presenting June

"Hello there,
the angle from my nightmare,
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspected victim of darkness in the value
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want"
okay, tell me why I end up singing? Oh maybe because it was just me, lel.

SO, where do I start? Basic question as per usual.. I'm so sleepy in this 11 a.m and got nothing to to do here in Mbah's house, so here I am, again apologizing to you and my self that I just find a decent time to swish the dust out of my blog, lol. 

Well, how was my June? It's already in the end of June and nothing went quite marvelous. June has always been my favorite month to spend, but let me did a little throwback of how my June on this 2017 went. 
Well, I have always been excited when June comes, but not this year. Quoting from my tweets, I still love how June finally be here, but since it means that the deadline also coming closer, it means that we had to work on our assignment much harder. And it was indeed tiring and pressuring. I've been working on my research thesis since May (because I just got back from Tangerang on the end of April after spending a whole month of March 22 - Apr 25 in ma hometown due to the our grandfather passing away). And also I took it as a rehab after my KKN done, lel. I missed my family much. 

Busy working our asses off and managing to get our nerves on track, since I got my seminar schedule on 21 June. I was no longer complaining whether we should take the seminar schedule after Eid Mubarak, because since its getting closer to the reality, and since there are things you can't change and can't control, so its better if we prepared ourselves for the best instead. My mind was full preparing on my seminar, moving out from my last dorm room, and then Eid Mubarak, I forgot it was actually getting closer to my birthday.

But its okay, done passing the seminar I was utterly relieved, no words can explain it. Then I started putting my shit I didn't get to do while preparing for the seminar together, and I head to Semarang to gather with the family and celebrate Eid Mubarak. And the day 2 Eid Mubarak was already my birthday, lol. And then, here I am, back to my granny haus after yesterday moving out my stuffs to ma dorm room after I got back from Semarang. Honestly I love being at Semarang with my family from Tangerang, but to bad they already took off because they also got shits to be done back home, hiks, Miss you still, guys. <3

And here I am, either telling and complaining of how I would spend my day today, on this last day of June already. Apparently I want to get back achieving my sims dreams, but I got caught up on my blog and decided to put some life update on it.

Just then, wish me luck on the upcoming life events and project. Alhamdulillah, I managed to pass the seminar so smoothly and continue on the Final Studio. Please wish me luck on working on my design later on the studio so I can pass and do my final seminar later on September and achieve my degree on engineering. Insya Allah.. :')

Just then, thank you for staying tune. I hope you also find happiness within and surround you, and I hope you're also succeeded on whatever you're working now. Till then, sayounara! :D
Xx, ela.